...you give me something no one else can, a reason to live....

6:30 AM 7/16/2009

The greatest happiness of life is the conviction that we are loved - loved for ourselves, or rather, loved in spite of ourselves. (Victor Hugo)

I’m staring blankly in front of my monitor…my mind is itching to write something but my sleepy head resist it…it was more than a week of silence after I finished reading Bo Sanchez’ “live like a dying man” … this is actually a wake up call for me… it’s hard to deal with it but I have to…

DEATH: is the state of terminated life… as per Bo Sanchez "We’re all a dying people. It’s just a question of when. Some sooner. Some later. But all of us are dying.” That will always be a reality and the most constant thing to happen in every one of us"… The message Bo wanted to share is: “If I had only 30 Days to Live, How Will I live?”

I’ve been trying to list down the 10 things I need to do with in the next 30 days but can’t think of any…the only person that comes up my mind is my ever dearest cuppycake… it’s hard for me to bid goodbye, it pains my heart seeing her and knowing that I can’t be their when she grows up…I just want to be part of the her life…

In the absence of my emotions I just decided to write a letter to cuppycake…

cuppycake dearie…

I never anticipated you to come into my life; you are someone I never dreamed of having…simply because I do not want to see a reflection of myself, I am a rebellious daughter so I am perfectly sure that I can never be the best mom that you can be proud of someday…but here you came still; at that time I was searching for the perfect reason as to why GOD gave you to me, clueless as I can be but I accepted you with an excited heart. It was a fulfillment when you are out of my tummy, when I saw you for the first time I just can’t wait to hold you, kiss you and hush you to sleep…I touched your face realizing that you are my little angel, you are the missing piece in my existence, it’s in you that I learn to love myself again, it’s you who teaches me to be patient, and it’s in you that I can see what my future holds.
I can not assure you a worry free life but I can guarantee that I will do my best in order for me to provide you a future that is different from mine…you will always have me no matter what will happen, I will try to understand whatever opinion or decision you will soon be making, I will not grow tired listening to your stories, I will be there catching you every time you experience the down hills of life, I wont only be a mother to you but a dear friend who would stick to you through thick and thin, and if ever we will have issues someday we are going to settle it a way we are meeting half way…
I want you to know how much I love you; I would sacrifice my own happiness and I want you to enjoy life as much as I enjoyed mine…just take one step at a time and do not forget to put GOD in the center of your life…

~mommie~

One word frees us of all the weight and pain in life. That word is Love. (Sophocles)

I would give up everything for one moment with you; for one moment isbetter than a lifetimeof not knowing you