Thursday, December 1, 2011

...there's just something about you...



Have you ever been to a place you’re not familiar with?
Have you ever dated a complete stranger?
Kissed someone you barely even know?
Love a guy who can never love you back?
Or ever waited for the right moment to come for the longest time?

I don’t know what I’m up to
I don’t even know where I’m heading to
I hear my heart’s boom
I hear my seatmate’s clock ticking
Like a bomb it will soon explode.

I wish I can see a falling star right now
I will make a wish from heaven’s above
Let go my lonely heart
Enjoy the ride
Love the adventure
Start living again
Dance in the rain
Feel the heartbeat
Put together the melody
Touch the sky
And grant my desire thy faithful God.

**iWishIcouLdForget**

Friday, October 21, 2011

"Nothing's forever. Forever's a lie. All we have is what's between hello and goodbye"

She grew up so fond of fairy tales
Her existence was never admired by everybody
So she dreamt of her prince charming
Imagined her own happy-ever-after story
Her knight and shining armor
The way Flynn Rider rescues Rapunzel’s miserable life inside the castle
The way Lindy Taylor fell in love with the unattractive Kyle Kingson
The way Peter willing to control the beast within and vows to Valerie that he will come back
And the way Norma Jean sings her heartsong Kiss and choose heartbreak hotel’s heartsong of Memphis.


The dreamer child was me
Not long ago I imagined my very special day
Where I am the center of the attention
The gorgeous princess wearing the blue wedding dress and blue chuck taylors
I walked down the Antonio’s garden in Tagaytay
While my prince singing Forevermore
Surrounded with blue flowers, Blue Cupid's Dart, Ritz Blue Pincushion Flower,
Viola Cornuta Blue Perfection, Bellflower - Pearl Deep Blue, Gentian - True Blue
Close friends and family to witness the exchanged of vows wearing their laid-back white attire and white chuck taylors. I imagined it as a celebration, music of love in the air; as everyone is dancing, laughing and having the best time.




The mind's eye may turned out to be a failure
Though the dreamer gave up
The heart stopped longing
The eyes grew tired of crying
But deep within the dreamer knows that love recognized the way back home
There’s always that special someone
Meeting him at the right time
Unexpected place
The ideal moment.


Then the dreamer will runaway with her prince.

Thursday, October 20, 2011

...October 21, 2011...

That was 10 years ago
Love we found so true

You became the center of my world

I became your life’s antidote
We beat the odds together



Full of dreams

Full of plans
Full of love

Our commitment and trust we keep

‘Til death do us part we want to achieve

Stillness intervene

You refused to talk

I rebuffed to listen

You lied

I gave you the chance

You walked away

I gave up

You tried to win me back

I had enough



I desire to blame you for the whole thing that happened

But I also have my own share of shortcomings

I want to work things out

You want to start all over again

I love you, I still do

You loved no one else

I know it’s true

But we need space for us to breathe

Sufficient space for us to be in love with ourselves first

The freedom that we never had when we exchanged our “I love you” 10 years ago.

Monday, October 10, 2011

...tell me and i will tell you...

we have a lot of differences
some can be fixed

but most often we tend to try to understand each other's weakness

and let go of the issue

i'm waiting for you to ask me what happen
what are my thoughts

what went wrong

the same as i'm waiting for you to speak up
let me know what's on your mind
allow your anger to burst

none of us willing to collaborate

my silence you misunderstood

you're silence i disregard
afraid of rejection or afraid of confrontation



Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Sometimes God doesn't give me what I ask, but He makes me feel good with what I have

“It’s hard to look at things that are too close.”
If you're dealing with something and can't understand the reason why, get a new perspective.




I watched the movie Soul Surfer almost 10 times already; simply because my little angel was hooked up to it. She loves how Bethany surfs, plays the guitar and the pinky-swear with her best friend (she relates it to our pinky-swear whenever she requests for a bottle of milk).



When I first watched the movie, I cried and I was reminded of God’s beautiful promise,


Jeremiah 29:11 is quoted in the movie and states “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”


That is the reason why I never gave up on LIFE, no matter how many times I stumble and fall, I get the chance to stand up and fight a good fight.



The following are the quotes and values that I took note from the movie and my thoughts.


1. Normal is overrated.
Oftentimes I’m misunderstood and it’s a good feeling knowing that I’m not the only one pretending to be normal.



2. I don’t know why bad things happen to us sometimes but I have to believe something good is going to come out of this. I don’t know what that is. I really wish I did.


My life’s story can be featured in a drama anthology; it’s been one heck of a roller coaster ride. Up until now I have a lot of what if’s and why’s, I’m always the plan-every-little-details type of person, but everything changed when GOD gave me my little angel. I wanted to arrange everything but they are all unsuccessful. Sometimes it crosses my mind that I’m a failure; I’m bound to fall short.



With that statement I was reminded again, something good is definitely going to happen, it may come unexpectedly, it maybe sooner than I anticipate but I know that God is still busy doing something beautiful in my life.


3. “When you get in the Impact Zone, get back up because you never know what’s over the next wave.” – Surfing has a period of time called “The Impact Zone” when things can get very difficult. Like life, often the difference between a champion surfer and everyone else is when the Impact Zone knocks them down; they simply choose to get back up.
As of the moment, I’m at the point of hopelessness. I just want to break down and cry until there will be no more tears left and no more emotions.


I was reminded; I simply need to get back up!




4. God did have something bigger planned for me. What we all needed to do was trust and believe.


Not all has the capability to trust and believe easily and I’m not exempted.


It’s hard to trust and believe specially if it’s unknown.


Trusting and believing that God works in mysterious ways requires BIG Faith in him.


Faith like of a child.




“And, when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.”
Paulo Coelho’s “The Alchemist”

Thursday, September 22, 2011

...semptember: 10s...


i-Learn...


1. that a person is sorry, but i just don't know if that's good enough.


2. that people who hurt me the most were the people who swore they never would.


3. that i need to let things be.

4. that one way to inner peace is being contented of what you currently have.


5. that i was never a good wife.


6. that love still exists in my life but it's less complicated to be not-in-a-relationship mode.


7. that i can be a good mother.


8. that as per Myers-Briggs personality exam, i'm an ISTJ type (introversion, sensing, thinking, judgment).


9. that life is too short to stress myself with people who don't even deserve to be an issue in my life.


10. that i finally accepted the truth that my husband is better off with out me.




Friday, September 16, 2011

...that piece of cheesecake...

I'm no longer sure what I want

I don't know what to do

I'm having difficulties

I'm tired


Existence seems like a sequence of unbounded emptiness

I can't tell if I'm restless

One thing is for sure, I'm undeniably nowhere to be found


Waiting for something

Waiting for something to happen?

Waiting for something that isn't going to happen?

Or not waiting at all.


I need to stop thinking

I need to let things be

I'll just sit here

I'll patiently stay

Just meet me there