...nothing special...

9:11 AM 6/13/09






it seems that i have alot of realizations this days
i keep on bugging myself to spill out the words
i stayed mum, i free my mind with questions
and worst i turned my back on all the things that's happening recently
i focused to one goal: not to break down



i just realized that it's been months i hold back the tears to flow
i diverted my attention to something else and to someone else
i am actually nurturing myself to death

i just realized that my life is totally out of control
never did i asked for something special
i am like a little girl who only wished to live a happy life

i just realized that i am alone in all my struggles
i wanted to scream and tell the world i'm in pain
but i do not want to be the center of attention

i just realized that the more i am trying to take one step at a time
the more i feel so trapped in a world of unknown
i can't breathe and i felt wasted

i just realized that i am becoming so impatient right now
as they say everything happens for a reason and every thing
will just fall into place, but it seems that i am waiting in vain

i just realized that our individual pieces does not fit in the big puzzle
our differences now adays becoming so painful
that it burned our soul and it washed away the love we pledge

realizations keep on dipping one by one that i am grasping for space
my emotions overflowing with negative outlook
i am like tied in a rope, sitting helplessly while destiny tugging me to
hopelessness...
lost and doomed to failure!


…this expression was put together after 2 years of stillness and not letting myself shout what is with in…