...a little girl in meh...

January 8, 2010||7:04AM

I've been looking for a girl like you - not you, but a girl like you.
Groucho Marx

i have a lot of frustrations in my life. There are a lot of things I was deprived of when I was a child; so at that time I wanted to grow up really fast. All my friends are way older than me so I pretended to be one of them, I talked like them, I walked like them, and I acted like them. There was a time I lied about my age just for me to belong! I was in 4^th grade, am taking my swimming lessons then almost all my friends are a 6^th grade graduate, so when asked about my age and grade I proudly said that I am also a 6^th grade graduate (it really makes me smile remembering those days, though I can’t sometimes relate to their conversation I still pretended to be one! Poor me…) Anyway, I have a different concept about life at that time: thinking that when I grow up like them I can be happy and free, I can decide on my own, am no longer in my mom’s shadow and I can be whom I wanted to be…

But then as I reached that age now it’s so funny how I wanted to be the little girl I was once before, so full of dreams and ambitions and not afraid to explore the unknown. I guess am so scared right now; I don’t know what lies ahead of me. I’ve reached to a point in my life where I keep reminding myself “you’re not getting any younger Dianne, so what’s the plan?” …

One of my teammates jokingly told a co-teammate of ours to “grow up!”… Then I asked myself have I grown up really too fast that I wish I can stop the time and just appreciate the little girl in me back then?

Sharing a recent pixz of my being childlike…

Go girl, seek happy nights to happy days.
William Shakespeare

dzaydee